Billiards Signs and Sayings you might see or hear

Words of Wisdom

" Pool is all luck, the more you play, the luckier you get"
Willie Mosconi

" I watch a man play for one hour, If he misses more
than one time, I know I can beat him "
"A pool player in a tuxedo? That's like puttin' whipped cream
on a hot dog!"
Luther Lassiter

The balls know when you're broke.
Rudolph Wanderone

"Every gentleman plays billiards, but someone who
plays billiards to well is no gentleman.
Thomas Jefferson

"There are six-million shots in the game of pool"
Albert Einstein

"Go ahead, Make my day"
Clint Eastwood

Everyone who enters this room makes us happy.
Some when they enter ! Some when they leave !

And the Houseman says
"Never chalk before miscueing' &
who was the best before I got here ?

Pool Sayings you could hear

"If they don't have a pool hall in heaven ,I ain`t going"

"I once gave up pool, it was the most terrifying weekend of my life"

"Pool Players do it with stroke"

"Pool Players enjoy bustin balls"

"Pool is a game of Brains not Brawn"

"Never chalk before miscueing"

"Even if you beat me, I'm still the best !"

"You got to beat the man to be the man"

"Straight pool is the "Breakfast of Champions"

"Pool is 90% mental & 10% physical"

"Who did you ever beat ?"

"You want some of this, you dead fly ?"

"I`ve spent most of my life playing pool, the rest, I`ve just wasted !

"You miss again. You lose again"

"I`ll beat you like a red headed step child"

"The more I play, the luckier I get"

"You couldn`t beat me with a beating stick"

The closer the cue ball gets to the pocket...the bigger the pocket gets!

"if that would have went in, you would have made it"

"Man if i didn't miss all these ducks, you'd have no chance against me"

"If I would have just hit it right, it would have went in!"

"Pool is a Four Letter Word and feels like ONE most of the time"

Efren said this one, " The other guy looks great when you're shooting crappy."

"The longer he's dead the better he plays" - Danny DiLiberto

"He may know a million shots, but none of them came up this match." -- Danny DiLiberto

"I'm a C player....C you rack....C me run out"

"How am I ever gonna win my money back if you keep beating me"

"I'm playing so bad, I need the seven from myself."

"I should switch to bank pool, as I'm banging every ball into the rail anyway."

"I hooked him so bad he cant even find the cue ball."

"ya got lucky, ya lucky prick."

"Did you ever hear the phrase 'there is always someone better?'" "Well, that's ME"

" I think I know already. When you get it out and screw it together..... stop doing that"
MORE POOL SAYINGS

" You cant shoot your way out of a wet paper bag"

" I wore out 13 cars looking for guys like you"

" Are you starting to get splinters in your fingers from racking so much?"

"You couldn't run that table if you put sneakers on and got on top of it!"

"I've never seen an ATM on 2 legs"

"Sorry I am standing so far away...I don't want any of your game rubbing off on me"

"I can no longer watch you play...If I actually WANTED to get sick I would call my ex wife "

"Are you EVER going to make a ball...the pockets are even laughing at you"

"You are so bad even your guide dog won't look at you"

"Your shooting skill is the reason they created bar tables"

"Why do you take so much time to shoot...your still going to miss"

"I seriously don't think I can give you enough weight to make it fair"

"Bert kinister's on the phone. He says don't even bother contacting him...none of his 150 tapes will help you"

He couldn't run out if you opened every door in the building!

Great shot, must have closed your eyes!

He thinks miss is a womans name!

He can't play today, he's so broke, can't bet bird seed for a coockoo clock!

You should just hang on to the rack, they say reaching is bad for your back.

You know there is another kind of pool. You'd be better off trading your
cue in for a swimsuit.

We've been here an hour. I thought you said you wanted to shoot some pool.
When do you plan on starting?

"In which one of your books or videos did you learn that shot from?"

" It must really suck being stuck in a constant state of deja vu."

"It's like Groundhog's Day all over again for you, isn't it?"

Damn, you must like the racking end of the table, cause you spend a lot of time down there"

BILLIARDS	LICENSE	PLATES	SEEN	OR	SENT IN
RACKMUP	CUEMAN	NINEBALL	MR CUE	BREAKEM	I RACK
1CUEMAN	PARROTQ	RIDEDA9	PQQL	BACKER	CUEITUP
SNAPIT	BADROLL	STROKEM	CHALKUP	BANKD8	SHERMQ
DX STX 1	BRKNRUN	POOLIS-1	4CASH	GOTDA8	QFIXER
IRUNOUT	9NDSIDE	DBLKISS	BRKEMUP	GIMMEDA8	QMAKR
IRAN188	CUEIST	RACKEM	URAKMUP	RACETO7	SHOOT9
3 CUSHN	ONDASNAP	STR8POOL	DH9 DA8	RKMSUKA	URACK
BALNHND	POOLTCHR	SNAPSHT	BANK 1 N	LAST PKT	8 ON BRK
IRUNRAX	GOTPOOL	PLAYSOM	PAYUP	POOLDOG	RUNOUT9
LASTTWO	CALLIT	POSTUP	14 N 1
Thanks to my friends at AZBilliards and CCB Forum for some of these
YOUR	LICENSE	PLATE	COULD	BE	HERE
Know of any more ? e-mail them in and I`ll put them here

Billiards Excuses

They got lucky again

I didn`t really want to play

I let you win

My tip was crooked

I had something in my eye

I was watching that girl on table 7

Balls weren`t racked tight

I hit it to good

To much glare from the window

Table rolled off

I had the wrong cue ball

Bad chalk

I heard noise from across the room

It was To hot----It was to cold

Damn cell phone rang

He moved when I was ready to shoot

Pictures To Look At
Rack Your Brains	Pool on the Brain
The Billiard Pick Pocket

Cartoons courtesy of Jim Meador

Billiard World Web Magazine

Dead ain`t that a foul

Anxious Biker